Eavesdropping isn’t rude if you post about it on the internet.

7 10 2010

People who know me know that I have a problem. An addiction. I need to cope with it.

Does anyone know of any support groups for people hopelessly hooked on Overheard in New York?

I can’t help it. I love eavesdropping. But sometimes I just feel that I can’t relate to all the quotations from NYU students, or homeless people on the subway. I mean, there are spinoffs. But still, I’m left wanting more. So without further ado, I present:

Overheard in Social Work

(I never said I was original.)

“I took four dance classes! Hip hop, ballet, tap, and belly dancing. The only one I skipped was flamingo.” -8 year old

“All right, well my client and I look forward to hearing from you. Have a nice day.”
Co-worker on the phone, hangs up.
“Bitch, don’t fuck with me.”

“I’m praying to Allah to make me good.” – 9 year old boy
“I don’t know where he gets this, we’re Baptist.” -mom
“As-Salāmu `Alaykum!” – 9 year old boy

“The people down the hall are smoking weed in the hallway again. How dare they not ask us to join them.” -Co-worker

“Moooooo!” – 4 year old in a tiger costume.

“I’m going to keep this stuffed chicken in my office. If anyone is feeling frustrated you can come in and smack it around.” -Supervisor

“Can white people eat collard greens?” – mother at an agency picnic.

“Do you have any idea how difficult it is to finance a $200 a day drug habit through panhandling?!” – social work school classmate (who seemed to have some very specific ideas on the subject.)

“He’s just so hypersexual for a 12 year old. Should I tell his mom to get him porn?” – co-worker

When this becomes a big hit, we’ll introduce our own spinoff:

Never Overheard from Social Workers

“We should document more. I don’t feel like I’m writing enough notes.”

“I heart clients with poorly trained dogs.”

“They offered me office supplies, but I really prefer to bring my own pencils.”

“It’s somebody’s birthday? OK, but I’m really not in the mood for cake.”

“Staff meeting? And a brainstorming session? That will surely solve ALL of our problems!”

OK, social workers, get out there and eavesdrop. Everybody do your part.

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11 responses

7 10 2010
Esther

I had a client once tell me the following:
Client: The jugde told me my license was revoked because I was driving without car insurance!
Me: Well what did you expect him to do?
Client: Well he can’t revoke my license because I’ve NEVER HAD a driver’s license!

7 10 2010
socialjerk

Oh, I love it! I get that sort of thing from my teens all the time. “Miss, my teacher said I started a fight, but I wasn’t even in school that day, I was smoking weed in the park!” Yup, that’ll get you right off the hook.

7 10 2010
Jennifer

“Can white people eat collard greens?” Ha Ha! I love the Overheard blogs, so maybe you could make this a regular feature?

7 10 2010
socialjerk

Thanks! I’m definitely considering it, I’m certain I’ll never run out of material.

7 10 2010
cb

Never overheard

Oh, another reconfiguration.. exciting.

Why on earth would we want to replace X, we can easily cover all his work between us if we all just pull our fingers out!

chocolate? no thanks – you have my share.

A new computer system is sure to solve all our problems. After all, what on earth could go wrong with technology.

I could go on but I don’t want to bore you.. will have to think of more ‘overheards’ but am a bit uninspired at the moment!

7 10 2010
socialjerk

“A new computer system is sure to solve all our problems. After all, what on earth could go wrong with technology. ”

Love this one. We just got called in for a training of our main computer system, which is apparently being revamped. The office is all twitterpated with excitement.

7 10 2010
fos

I have reams and reams of material for this! Kids say the darndest things…

7 10 2010
socialjerk

Do share!

And so true. One of my roommates is a kindergarten teacher. We go back and forth for hours.

19 10 2010
19 10 2010
socialjerk

Excellent…thanks!

22 10 2010
Doris

Ha ha ha! Love your post!

Doris

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