Self-determination, unconditional positive regard, and eavesdropping

20 10 2011

It’s been a while, but I believe the time has come for Overheard in Social Work: 3rd Edition. The things we hear can’t be unheard. But they can be shared and enjoyed!

“I told Grandma, we have to go see Miss SJ today, we haven’t seen her all week!” – Favorite 4 y/o ever.

SJ:     “What are your friends like?”
5 y/o: “Strawberries.”

Client:                       “Oh Miss, you cut your hair!”
Client’s boyfriend: “HOT.”
Client:                       “Something seriously wrong with you.”

“Miss! Miss! I’m pregnant!” -7 y/o with a strategically placed bowling ball.

SJ:       “What else would you like to have in group?”
13 y/o: “Cheeseburgers. And fries.”

“How am I supposed to facilitate a family conference with the store downstairs blasting club music? I’m going to start dancing while I’m asking them to identify their strengths.” -Coworker, while booty popping to demonstrate.

SJ:        “So unicorns eat crabby patties?”
12 y/o: “Of course, it keeps their hooves glittery.”

“I’m leaving the office now. Miss SJ is fine. She cut her hair. It’s short, ma!” – 14 y/o, updating all on the scandal of the century.

16 y/o: “I can’t meet this weekend, it’s the gay parade. That’s right, I’m out now.”
3 y/o sister: “I’m out now too!”

Woman on the street: “Do you want to buy a $4.50 Metrocard? I’ll sell it for $3.”
SJ: “No. My agency just gave you that. Come on.”

SJ: “If you woke up tomorrow, and everything was perfect, what would it look like?”
13 y/o girl: “Adam Lambert would be with me!”
SJ: “OK. I’m pretty sure you’d be disappointed.”

“My daughter will walk you downstairs. I don’t want you getting stabbed.” -Terrifying, but thoughtful, grandmother.

Assistant principal: “He was suspended for breakdancing in the hallway. This is very serious, someone could have been hurt.”
Laughing SJ: “I know, I’m not laughing.”

“That child isn’t in school today, but would you like a complimentary copy of the New York Times?” -greatest school secretary of all time, who might have been a flight attendant at some point.

Never has and never will be overheard in social work:

“That staff meeting provided some much needed clarity.”

“I’m always grateful for insight from people who haven’t done direct service work for 23 years.”

“Can I get some more cases? I’m feeling a little bored.”

“I took a sick day, and did not think about work once.”

Come on over, friends, social workers, therapists, teachers, and people who interact with humans. Share the funny shit you hear! I promise it helps.



15 responses

20 10 2011
Secretary of Shenanigans

Assistant principal: “He was suspended for breakdancing in the hallway. This is very serious, someone could have been hurt.”
Laughing SJ: “I know, I’m not laughing.”


20 10 2011

My 14 y/o client said this while filling out an application. “Developmental Disability? What’s that? Like being flat-chested?”

20 10 2011
Meg Shea

my 6 yr old patient was concerned that my mommy wouldn’t buy me a halloween costume this year.

20 10 2011

Oh.. I have many. We could write a book. One that immediately comes to mind was when I was doing sex ed w/ one of my boys (11 or 12) who thought his whole testical would come out of his penis during ejaculation and that he was relieved to find out that was not the case – because that would really hurt.

20 10 2011

testicle dammit

25 10 2011

The email to approve this final addition is my favorite thing I’ve ever gotten.

20 10 2011
Louise Taylor

Dumb teenager saying #3
“So I can move out on my own at the end of the school year?”
“yes you can move out in the summer”
“when is the summer?”
(ummm….maybe you aren’t quite ready)

20 10 2011
Louise Taylor

“Did you find out when my new bed is being delivered?”
“No I could not talk to the store, they are closed today.”
“Did they tell you when they will deliver?”

20 10 2011
Full Care Order

15 y/o joyrider “your a shite driver, you ride the clutch too much, come off of quicker, trust me I have been driving longer then you”

Clients mother “i wanted to punch the head off her, I know I shouldnt, but sure your not pregnant in the face are you?”

“do you think mosituriser would help my skin…its in bits….or maybe all the drugs don’t help neither”

20 10 2011

Overheard at the appointment window, after seeing the psychiatrist. “No, we’ll need to reschedule her therapist’s appointment, she’s got her monthly. She can’t see him today.”

21 10 2011

One of my clients recently yelled at me, “When am I gonna get those shirts you guys promised? I mean, all I’m asking for is a pack of hanes t-shirts, not a crystal chande-fuckin-lier!”

25 10 2011

2 year old who doesn’t know me: ‘hey lady, are you happy?’

tired social worker: ‘yes. i’m happy. are you happy?’

2 yo giggling with a HUGE smile goes running away.

another phrase that you never/rarely/not nearly enough hear: ‘you are so good at your work and so wonderful at connecting with your families. we’d like to give you a 10% raise and an additional week of paid vacation. would that be ok with you?’

25 10 2011

I love everything that’s happening here.

28 10 2011

Me: Did you meet the DA at court? Client (10yo boy): No Me: Your mom said you did?? Client: You mean the brown guy? (this client is also “brown”). Me: I haven’t met him… but I’m guessing yes, the brown guy. LOL

20 12 2011

Sometimes the funny stories come with written reports.
I had a police report describing bruises on the child’s “butt ox”. Another one where the victim had “Patiki Eye”.

One of my clients had “diah-rear”…I think I’m actually in favor of changing the word to diah-rear. It just meets that “is what it is” definition LOL

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