It’s been a while, but I believe the time has come for Overheard in Social Work: 3rd Edition. The things we hear can’t be unheard. But they can be shared and enjoyed!
“I told Grandma, we have to go see Miss SJ today, we haven’t seen her all week!” – Favorite 4 y/o ever.
SJ: “What are your friends like?”
5 y/o: “Strawberries.”
Client: “Oh Miss, you cut your hair!”
Client’s boyfriend: “HOT.”
Client: “Something seriously wrong with you.”
“Miss! Miss! I’m pregnant!” -7 y/o with a strategically placed bowling ball.
SJ: “What else would you like to have in group?”
13 y/o: “Cheeseburgers. And fries.”
“How am I supposed to facilitate a family conference with the store downstairs blasting club music? I’m going to start dancing while I’m asking them to identify their strengths.” -Coworker, while booty popping to demonstrate.
SJ: “So unicorns eat crabby patties?”
12 y/o: “Of course, it keeps their hooves glittery.”
“I’m leaving the office now. Miss SJ is fine. She cut her hair. It’s short, ma!” – 14 y/o, updating all on the scandal of the century.
16 y/o: “I can’t meet this weekend, it’s the gay parade. That’s right, I’m out now.”
3 y/o sister: “I’m out now too!”
Woman on the street: “Do you want to buy a $4.50 Metrocard? I’ll sell it for $3.”
SJ: “No. My agency just gave you that. Come on.”
SJ: “If you woke up tomorrow, and everything was perfect, what would it look like?”
13 y/o girl: “Adam Lambert would be with me!”
SJ: “OK. I’m pretty sure you’d be disappointed.”
“My daughter will walk you downstairs. I don’t want you getting stabbed.” -Terrifying, but thoughtful, grandmother.
Assistant principal: “He was suspended for breakdancing in the hallway. This is very serious, someone could have been hurt.”
Laughing SJ: “I know, I’m not laughing.”
“That child isn’t in school today, but would you like a complimentary copy of the New York Times?” -greatest school secretary of all time, who might have been a flight attendant at some point.
Never has and never will be overheard in social work:
“That staff meeting provided some much needed clarity.”
“I’m always grateful for insight from people who haven’t done direct service work for 23 years.”
“Can I get some more cases? I’m feeling a little bored.”
“I took a sick day, and did not think about work once.”
Come on over, friends, social workers, therapists, teachers, and people who interact with humans. Share the funny shit you hear! I promise it helps.